Bless This Backyard: The Southern-Style Shopping List for My Backyard Re-Do
Bless This Backyard: The Southern-Style Shopping List for My Backyard Re-Do
Well, y’all, it’s official: my backyard looks like the before photo in a landscaping ad, and I simply cannot let another summer pass with my neighbors judging me from behind their azaleas. Time to go full HGTV-meets-Sweet-Tea and turn this space into a proper Southern paradise. Here’s everything I absolutely, definitely, 100% need — according to Pinterest, my mama, and that one friend who thinks she’s Joanna Gaines.
1. A Porch Swing (That No One Will Actually Sit On)
Let’s be honest — a porch swing is mandatory if you want to be taken seriously as a Southern homeowner. Will anyone ever sit on it? Probably not. It’ll mostly hold throw pillows that blow away every time there’s a breeze stronger than a mosquito’s wingbeat. But it will look darling while it collects pollen. https://amzn.to/4gyVG6W
2. Outdoor String Lights (Because Ambiance Hides Imperfections)
Nothing says “I have my life together” like Edison bulbs twinkling across the yard. They’re basically Spanx for landscaping — everyone is too busy enjoying the glow to notice that my grass is more “patchy pasture” than “Southern Living cover shoot.” https://amzn.to/48l6bbG
3. A Fire Pit (So We Can Sweat Together)
Because nothing says “romance” like roasting marshmallows in 97-degree heat while getting eaten alive by mosquitos the size of hummingbirds. But hey, at least we’ll have s’mores and a new family tradition: yelling “SKEETER!” every 30 seconds. https://amzn.to/4nziR39 or https://amzn.to/41Z81eu
4. Fancy Patio Furniture (That Will Live Covered in Pollen)
You can’t just have a couple of folding chairs out there — oh no, apparently I need a sectional sofa made of weatherproof wicker that costs more than my first car. I’ll also need at least 12 throw pillows that will be ruined the first time it rains. https://amzn.to/3Ip7RX1
5. A Grill Big Enough to Feed a SEC Tailgate
Sure, I only cook two burgers at a time, but it feels un-American not to own a grill with enough space for 48 hot dogs, three racks of ribs, and someone’s “experimental” jalapeño poppers. https://amzn.to/3KqBfwF
6. A Galvanized Drink Tub (Because Coolers Are Too Practical)
Yes, I could just use a cooler, but where’s the Southern charm in that? No, I need a vintage-style tub filled with ice so everyone can ooh and ahh while their beer slowly floats away. https://amzn.to/467jBGW
7. Mosquito Solutions (Because This Is Still the South)
Citronella candles, mosquito dunks, and maybe a priest to perform an exorcism — because these bugs do not play. https://amzn.to/46r9DiE
8. A Yard Flamingo or Two (Tasteful…ish)
Listen, a pop of personality never hurt anybody. If you can’t have a little fun in your own backyard, where can you. Just Kidding - I would go with a Blue & White Chinoiserie Pot - Sold in our Home Section
And a few other Amazon Finds... Mat to put under giant Umbrella so it doesn't make marks on your patio https://amzn.to/4pu7Qlw